Genre: Angst, Romance, Friendship, Dark, Smut, Yaoi, AU
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and the plot. This is inspired by the novel 'Fifty Shades of Grey'
Warning: boy-to-boy relationships, language
Summary: Behind every beautiful face lie very dark secrets.
Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
CHAPTER SIXTEEN - DOUBT AND GUILT
*will be using 3rd person for this chapter for reasons, but only Sungmin’s view and thoughts will still be used. Thanks to Ate Kat for giving me ideas for this chapter! :3 oh, and kindly read the author's note at the end, thank you! :)
As much as Sungmin wanted to stay with Kyuhyun and continue what they were doing inside the apartment, he just can’t ignore Jongwoon’s phone call especially now that they just made up. He can’t afford to make the blond get angry at him again. Besides, the guy told him that he will call tonight so he should have expected this.
“Where are you?” Jongwoon’s voice is so sweet and gentle, yet it sounded kind of husky due to the telephone line.
“Outside the apartment,” he answers. Kyuhyun’s car is already out of sight.
“Hmm,” He hears loud scrambling of papers and a song playing in the background where his hyung is at. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“Eh? What is it?”
“It’s in your apartment. I’ve already had it delivered.”
He gets giddy and runs towards the building. He loves surprises (the good ones) especially that it is from Jongwoon. For years of knowing Jongwoon, he knows that the surprise is something cute. It’s either a teddy bear or a pink bunny stuffed toy. He already has a shelf of all the gifts Jongwoon gave him.
He excitingly opens the door, wondering for a while on why it is unlocked, but his question is answered at the sight of Jongwoon sitting comfortably on the couch, crossed-legs, with a wide grin on his handsome face.
“Surprise~” the older spreads his arms wide while the younger beams and runs to his hyung for a hug. It was nice to know that Jongwoon has no schedule that the singer is able to pay Sungmin a surprise visit. Well, his Jongwoon-hyung is also a cute one… if ever he’ll fit in Sungmin’s shelf.
“Where were you?” Sungmin gulps at the question. He never expected that Jongwoon will come, and so he didn’t prepare any alibi in case he will ask for his whereabouts. He has to think fast.
He opens his mouth to answer some random thing that popped out in his mind, but the blond kisses his lips gently, catching him off-guard.
“I brought wine.” Jongwoon lifts a bottle of wine with a smile, much to Sungmin’s delight. He had drunk wine with the Kim Family earlier, and he wanted more, but Kyuhyun stopped him, reasoning that he didn’t want his parents to see him drunk.
Wine. The first person who instantly comes in his mind whenever he hears that word is Kyuhyun. He remembers the guy’s collection in his office and in his house. He remembers the peaceful look on Kyuhyun’s face whenever he inhales the aroma the drink sends off. He remembers how graceful Kyuhyun lifts the goblet up and puts it in between his lips. He remembers how Kyuhyun’s Adam’s apple moves as he gulps the wine. He remembers the taste of wine on Kyuhyun’s tongue as they kiss.
Jongwoon was not that much of a fan of liquor. Pretty much like Sungmin, the singer cannot also hold too much alcohol, and in just a matter of a few shots, both of them get tipsy. Donghae makes sure that he will not leave them drinking alone outside because he’s sure that he’ll have to bring home two sleeping drunkards.
To say that drinking together in Sungmin’s house was safer is not entirely true. The past years were too much different from now. There was a burning desire within them now that is hard to control, and the wine is surely not helping.
They were just talking about random things an hour ago while enjoying the liquid burning their throat, but now, they are engaged in a heated make-out session, with Sungmin’s back lying on the sofa, and Jongwoon is hovered on top him, kissing the living daylights out of him and sucking the remaining oxygen in his lungs.
He wraps his arms around his hyung’s neck as he slightly pulls away to catch his breath before crashing his lips back to Jongwoon’s soft and swollen ones. As a tongue invades his cavern, a moan escapes his throat. However, another person crosses his mind: Kyuhyun.
Even though the kisses and touches were definitely unfamiliar to him, all he thinks of is Kyuhyun. In his mind, it is Kyuhyun who is kissing him, desperate for affection, but there was no roughness or domination. In his mind, it is Kyuhyun who is gently tracing his fingers on his skin. In his mind, no matter how wrong it is, it is Kyuhyun who is with him.
Deep inside, he wants Kyuhyun to kiss and touch him like how Jongwoon does it.
At the pull of his shirt to his head, Sungmin’s trance broke. He realizes that he doesn’t want to do this with Jongwoon if his thoughts are filled with Kyuhyun’s face. Why can’t he just forget Kyuhyun? Jongwoon is here. Jongwoon is very open to his feelings and he knows that his hyung will not hurt him. Jongwoon is a very generous man to his family. Jongwoon is perfect.
Why Kyuhyun? Kyuhyun is hiding everything about him that he is trying to make Sungmin guess every single detail of him. Kyuhyun had already hurt him, that’s a fact. Kyuhyun is a spoiled brat. Kyuhyun is a bastard. Why is he always thinking of him?
He tries pushing Jongwoon away, but the wine had already taken its effect on his brain that he cannot move, see and think properly, and the opposite must have probably happened to the older. He tries pleading Jongwoon to stop, but a tongue slipping inside his mouth prevents him to do so.
Knowing that he cannot stop Jongwoon, he just let the other have his way on him. He convinced himself that the blond is not on his right mind because of the influence of alcohol on his brain. He just tried focusing on those small fingers caressing his skin, pleasure slowly taking him.
He kissed back. He arched his back. He moaned. He sucked Jongwoon. He craved for more. Jongwoon sucked him. He pleaded Jongwoon to continue. He whimpered at the feeling of Jongwoon’s fingers in him, his moans got louder at the penetration of Jongwoon himself. He held his hyung’s arms and dug his nails on the guy’s arms. He rocked his hips. He wrapped his legs tighter around Jongwoon’s waist. He moaned. He arched his back. He kissed back. He came.
But Kyuhyun’s stunning exhausted face is still in his mind, and he almost yelped in surprise when he realized that it was Jongwoon who was giving him all the pleasure.
He feels bad; all this time, he thought he was making love with Kyuhyun. He loved it. He totally loved the way Jongwoon moved inside him. There was no force; it was careful. It was the exact opposite of what he experienced with Kyuhyun.
He feels bad that he wanted Kyuhyun to be like this to him, not Jongwoon.
Despite him liking it this way, he only felt lust. After they had their release, he didn’t crave for more unlike when he was with Kyuhyun even if his whole body hurts like hell.
Call him a pervert or what, but he determined who he likes more because of this.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry, Minnie…” Jongwoon’s husky voice rings inside his ears, causing for him to snap his eyes wide open. He didn’t know that he is already trembling, and Jongwoon could feel it.
The singer’s gaze softens as his orbs get teary, his eyes scanning Sungmin’s head to chest. Then, he enveloped the younger into a tight embrace.
Sungmin could feel Jongwoon’s fast heartbeat, and he could hear the elder’s soft sobs. He knows that his hyung is feeling guilty about this. Both of them are. He doesn’t know how to fix this.
“I’m really sorry, Minnie… I didn’t… know…” Jongwoon mumbles on Sungmin’s shoulder.
He closed his eyes; trying to prevent tears from streaming down his cheeks. Unfortunately, he failed. Jongwoon cups his cheeks and wipes the tears using his thumb while continuously muttering apologies to his dongsaeng.
Normally, if one of them does something bad to the other, they will easily forget and say ‘it is okay.’ But due to some unknown reasons, Sungmin cannot say it. He is not okay. It is not that okay to him. It will surely hurt his hyung’s feelings if he tells him that, so he decides to just keep it to himself.
After that, not one of them spoke. They silently gathered their clothes and put it on; both of them moving quickly due to the need of avoiding the awkward atmosphere between them.
Jongwoon says one last apology before taking his leave with obviously hesitant steps. Sungmin just stares at the blond’s back, aware that the elder is constantly looking back at him. His mind tells him to run after Jongwoon and settle everything again, but his heart is saying no.
His phone beeps the moment he closed the door, seeing that Donghae sent him a text message about him not going home because he will be staying at Hyukkie’s flat for the night. One of the reasons why Sungmin just loves Donghae is because the guy knows the perfect timing when to appear and disappear. Right now, he needs to be alone. He needs to think things through.
He hates the fact that he is so weak. The first time this happened is with Kyuhyun. His body was already aching due to the whippings and slapping, but he did not complain. He did not tell Kyuhyun to stop despite knowing that he could, and the younger would stop immediately. He bore the pain with the thought that Kyuhyun might get mad at him if he complained.
And now in Jongwoon’s case, he didn’t complain because Jongwoon might get mad at him, and because of the fact that he liked it somehow. In the end of both scenarios, it looked like he was the one who was mad, and both Kyuhyun and Jongwoon blamed themselves for it when it is actually Sungmin’s fault in the first place.
Is it wrong to think of others first before himself? Should he be selfish from now on? Should he now give priority for himself?
The doorbell rings. He groans as he buries his face on his pillow, mentally cursing whoever that person is for he just disturbed his meditation. He glances at the clock, which reads 1:37 am. It is impossible that it is Donghae because he’s pretty sure that by this time, he is still having happy moments with his lover.
Is it Jongwoon?
The bell rings once again, successfully making him jump on the bed. Grunting in annoyance, he skips off the bed and walks towards the door with heavy steps, intending to let the guest that he is irritated.
He turns the knob, and says with a frown, “Why are yo-” The words and curses he was about to scream at the face of the intruder suddenly disappeared as he stares at the tall brunet grinning at him. He silently watches Kyuhyun lifts his arm up, a pink wallet is in between his long fingers.
“You left this cute wallet in my car.”
Without thinking, he hugs Kyuhyun tight, burying his face on the younger’s shoulder. He suddenly felt lighter at the presence of the game freak that he almost unconsciously crushed Kyuhyun’s ribs due to the tightness of his hug.
He knows Kyuhyun is surprised at this unusual action, but he couldn’t care less. He needs Kyuhyun.
“Uhh… hyung, can we go inside and there you continue your drama? It’s cold here…” Kyuhyun idiotically remarks. Sungmin can’t help but chuckle; there is this thing about Kyuhyun that can ruin the atmosphere, whatever it is, negative or not. But he definitely used it tonight in a positive way.
“Sorry,” he blushes as he pulls away, biting back a whimper because of the loss of contact. “Come in.”
He steps aside and lets Kyuhyun walk in first, watching as the CEO places the wallet on a small table at the living room. He notices Kyuhyun staring at the couch for minutes now, and realization hits him that he hadn’t cleaned the sofa yet.
Quickly, he pulls Kyuhyun to his room and makes him lie on the bed, with him following next to the younger. Judging by the unusual quietness of the once mischievous gamer, Kyuhyun really saw the stains of cum on the sofa. He doesn’t want to talk about it.
He cut Kyuhyun by pressing his lips against the younger’s, and he could feel his heart skipping a beat. Seconds after, Kyuhyun finally responds to it, slowly moving his lips. The kiss was gentle and warm, and Sungmin felt like melting.
They pull away and stare at each other, cheeks flushing. Kyuhyun’s kisses are weak, but it is still better than his fierce ones, and that’s when Sungmin remembered that Kyuhyun is sick.
“I thought you’re flying to Busan?” he asks.
Kyuhyun weakly smiles. “Yeah, but I saw your wallet in my car, so I went here to give it back to you cos you might need it.”
Sungmin sighs softly. “You’re such an idiot. You could have just asked an employee of yours to bring it back to me!” he cups Kyuhyun’s cheeks, “Look, you still have a fever!”
He ignores whatever Kyuhyun said as he jumps off his bed and head to the kitchen to grab some medicine from the first aid kit. He sees Kyuhyun coming out from his room, so he pushes the stubborn boy back to the bed and gives him the medicine and a glass of water.
“Be a good boy and drink that.”
He resists the urge to squeal at the pout that formed on Kyuhyun’s lips as the latter obliged to his order. Wow, he just commanded a CEO.
After drinking the tablet, he pushes Kyuhyun to lie on the bed, and then pulls him closer to his chest. He doesn’t care if Kyuhyun can already feel his wildly beating heart. He needs Kyuhyun with him, especially now. He needs someone who could make him happy.
He just wants to be, even once, he wants to be…
“Stay with me, Kyuhyun.”
TO BE CONTINUED
-I know this is short, sorry, but the next chapter is long ^^
-Do you like this to be written in 3rd person or in 1st person? By 3rd person means just like how I wrote this chapter cos I'm planning to use this style whenever there is smut only if ever you guys liked knowing Sungmin's thoughts directly from him~
-Updates (Shades & Madness) will be delayed, yet again, due to the upcoming Finals Week, so projects and quizzes are around the corner huhuhu :’( Don’t worry about Love Wrecked, paperhunter and simbasheart are taking care of it kkk~
-Comments are <3333333
Here's some recent KyuMin for everyone! [cr: @LetsKyuMin]